


Christmas in Cornwall

by Genie60



Category: Poldark (TV 2015), Poldark - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-21
Updated: 2016-12-26
Packaged: 2018-09-10 19:25:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8933848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Genie60/pseuds/Genie60
Summary: Demelza Carne is an American WWII war "widow"  living at Nampara in Cornwall.  Short on funds and spirit, she agrees to take in a wounded soldier during the Christmas holidays. Enter Ross Poldark, recently released from a military hospital having recovered from wounds to his face and leg leaving him maimed but still hopeful despite his situation.Could these two people each with their own scars find the spirit of Christmas again?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the onslaught of Hallmark Christmas movies, a 1940's film and discussions on Tumblr with @Alicebhatt & @shiparker this Romelza Christmas story was spawned.
> 
> Please excuse any historical inaccuracies or errors; this was written for my own amusement. Also unbeta'd and strictly off the cuff.
> 
> Besides couldn't we always use some Romelza fluff.

The snow drifts were rising as the day went on.  From inside her cottage Demelza Carne watched as her garden slowly disappeared under a blanket of white. While she was sad to see her patch of plants and flowers fade, she was also hopeful that this weather would deter the visitor she was expecting.  She had tried to get out of her agreement with the local military office once she realized that she still was not ready to deal with or face anyone wearing a uniform.  Standing at the window with her daughter Julia playing on the rug, she wondered how she would get through the next month.  It had been almost a year since her lover, Michael had crashed over Germany and the loss was still fresh.  Not a night went by when she didn’t think of him.  Looking down at their child, she was saddened by the fact that he would never get to see her grow up and that she would never know what a kind and generous man he was. 

They had met at a USO canteen when she was an American volunteer.  It was love at first sight and only took them a few days to decide to get married.  Their decision was hastened by the fact that he had gotten orders that would take him out of Cornwall, but finding a justice of the peace who would marry them was unsuccessful.  Part of the problem was that Demelza was an American so there was additional red tape. Ignoring convention, Demelza and Michael made vows to each other and had a magical wedding night.  Soon after Michael left for his mission, Demelza found she was pregnant and prayed that he would make it home to be with her for the birth. That was not to be.  Shortly before her due date, a telegram arrived along with a contingent of RAF officers. She knew as soon as she saw them walk up the path what was coming.  When she read the words on the paper and heard it reiterated by the men delivering it, she was shocked. However, she didn’t cry or collapse. She couldn’t. She had a baby coming and needed to stay focused on that. Demelza was grateful that she at least had been afforded the courtesy of finding out the news directly considering she wasn’t technically his wife.

Julia arrived approximately one month after Demelza became another casualty of war but her presence brought immediate joy to her mother.  Demelza doted on her daughter, making sure that she had all the love a child would get if they had both mother and father.  She was lucky because while she wasn’t entitled to widow benefits, she did have some money put aside from the inheritance her parents left her and whatever Michael was clever enough to bequeath her including this cottage. And while life was sometimes a struggle, both financially and emotionally she never complained.  She had her daughter who was a reminder of her lost love and that was enough.  Or so she thought.

  The months flew by and without warning, it was winter in Cornwall and only a few weeks until Christmas. Demelza began to realize how lonely she was and also, how dire her situation had become. It was for this reason that she agreed to take in a soldier for the holidays.  Not only would it provide some company but the government would allot a stipend to care for him.  Her only concern was what some of the locals would think. They already looked down at her for being a woman with a child and no husband.  Of course, many assumed that she was married since she had moved into Michael’s house and wore the ring he gave her before he left. 

She was contemplating all this when her telephone rang.  Drawing her out of her memories she answered.

“Yes, this is Demelza Carne.  When?  This afternoon? That will be fine.  Yes, that’s it. Nampara Cottage.  Thank you.”  She ended the call and hung up the receiver, a sudden knot forming in her stomach.  Demelza was usually quite strong and determined and nothing much scared her. But for some reason, the thought of meeting another soldier set her into panic mode.  How as she to behave? What was expected of her?  Looking at the time, she saw that if she were to be ready for his arrival, she needed to get moving.  Picking Julia up off the floor she placed her in the playpen with a bottle and lay her down for a nap. This would let her to do chores uninterrupted.  Rubbing her tummy and humming an old Cornish tune that Michael had taught her, the blue eyes of her daughter drifted shut and soon she was sound asleep.

She walked about the living room and straightened up randomly.  There really wasn’t anything out of place but this was more about nervous energy than actually needing to clean. Demelza circled the room stopping now and then to adjust a knick knack or check for dust.  As she reached the spinet piano, she ran her fingers over the keys, careful not to hit them too loud and remembered how she and Michael danced at the canteen the night they met.  She picked up the picture of her lost love and held it close to her chest, closing her eyes to the memories and yet she did not cry.  Placing it back on the top of the piano, Demelza took one more look around the room and walked quietly out. 

  Moving on to the kitchen, Demelza checked the refrigerator.  She tried to anticipate what her guest might want but with limited funds and ration books, she was only able to get the essentials. Hopefully he wasn’t a picky eater but she would guess that anything would be better than K-rations.  Satisfied that the basics were under control she moved upstairs to the room where he would be sleeping.  It was down the hall from her and Julia’s room and was originally meant for servants. Demelza silently laughed at the thought of having servants.  Opening the door she looked around and even with the darkened winter sky, there was still enough light that made the room warm and inviting.

Feeling a little more confident that the house was ready for a stranger, she tripped down the stairs, and peeked in on Julia. Seeing that she was not stirring,  Demelza put on her coat and boots and headed outside to try and shovel the pathway so that people could make it to the front door.  Luckily the snow was still soft and the wind had died down so she was able to move small mounds at a time, making tiny piles on either side of the walk.  Her head was down and she was trying to keep an ear out for Julia in case she woke up so she didn’t hear the approaching footsteps.

“Do you need a hand?”  Demelza jumped at the sound of the deep British accent and dropped the shovel mid movement.  She turned and almost slipped on the wet ground when a strong arm reached out and grabbed her, setting her right.  Looking up she saw the warmest pair of hazel eyes she’d ever seen on a face that held an impish grin.  It took her a moment to realize this must be her border for the coming weeks.  He wore a standard issue uniform and carried a canvas bag. She also noticed that he had a cane and framing those orbs that had hypnotized her was a jagged scar.  Yet neither of those things took away from his beauty, if one could say that about a man. 

“Um, thank you.  I’m usually not such a klutz but you startled me,” Demelza said, brushing the front of her coat and picking up the shovel.  She leaned on the implement to give her some stability as the nearness of this stranger was having an unexpected effect on her.  Even though it was cold, she was sure he could see her face flush and she wasn’t quite sure how he’d react.

“I’m so sorry.  I suppose I should introduce myself. I’m Captain Ross Poldark,” he stated simply as he moved the cane to the hand holding his bag so that he could properly greet her. Demelza rubbed her hands together and grasped his.  There was an immediate electric shock between them and they both started.  Looking directly into each other’s eyes, they giggled nervously, clearly feeling the same thing.

“It must be the cold,” Ross explained quickly.  Never before had he encountered a jolt like that with anyone. 

“Must be,” Demelza agreed.  She pulled her hand away and still didn’t let her gaze fall.  “Forgive me Captain. I’m Demelza Carne.  I hope I haven’t scared you too much.”

“Not at all, Mrs. Carne.  You forget I’ve been in the war.  It takes a lot to scare me these days.”

Demelza was going to correct him as to her status but that was interrupted by a sudden wail coming from inside the cottage.  Demelza thrust the shovel at her new guest and ran inside, not caring that she left him out in the cold or that she was trailing snow behind her.

“Julia?” she cried, as she entered the house, trying not to slip on the stone floors.  She ran to the living room and saw the baby sitting up, tears streaming down her face and red as a beet.  Reaching into the playpen she pulled her up into a hug, holding her close to her chest. 

“There, there my love.  What’s frightened you?  Mama’s here,” she said softly trying to soothe her daughter.  She was rocking Julia on her shoulder when she turned around and saw the captain standing in the doorway.

“Is everything alright?” he said, a tone of concern in his voice.  He was hesitant to move into the room without invitation. 

“Yes. She must have just woken up and didn’t see me in the room.  Plus, from the smell of things, her diaper needs changing.”

“I see.  Well if you need to take care of…..”

“Julia,” Demelza answered.

“Julia,” Ross repeated.  “I’ll finish clearing the path. Will that work?”

She was surprised at the tenderness in his voice and smiled.  She also noticed that Julia stopped crying and had turned her attention to the strange voice coming from across the room.  Demelza looked between her daughter and the captain.

“Seems she likes you, Captain,” she said warmly.  “And yes, that would be a great help if you’re sure it won’t be too strenuous.”

“Ross,” he replied. Demelza felt her face grow warm again.

“Ross,” she echoed.  “Thank you.  Leave your bag here and I’ll take it to your room once I finish with the princess.”  Demelza gave her daughter a kiss on the cheek.  Ross started to walk out of the room when he stopped and turned back.

“She’s beautiful, Demelza”.

She was surprised at the unsolicited compliment and tenderness in his voice.  It warmed her and eased some of the tension she was feeling about his arrival.  Watching him leave, she noticed for the first time the slight limp when he walked. This would explain the need for a cane.  And yet, there was something unapologetic in Captain Ross Poldark that Demelza admired.  He didn’t seem to feel sorry for himself but rather just got on with it. 

Turning her attention back to Julia, Demelza grabbed his bag as she headed upstairs to change her daughter and perhaps freshen up herself.  Something about this man had touched her in a way she hadn’t felt in over a year.  It was frightening and exciting at the same time.  It had been so long since she felt this kind of exhilaration coursing through her that she didn’t want to jump ahead of herself.  Perhaps Captain Ross Poldark was really a cad, out to take young women for what they had. 

If that was the case, she had nothing to worry about because she had nothing to take.  Except her heart, which she had secreted away once that telegram arrived.  The only person who had a place in there now was Julia.  And yet, she had a feeling that the locks protecting it were ready to be opened and it scared her.  Why was she thinking like this when she’d only known this man for less than 30 minutes?    She stopped the thoughts running through her brain by putting his bag in his room and making her way back to her own to tend to Julia. 

As she changed her daughter Demelza found herself humming brightly; something she also hadn’t done in months and didn’t question it. Once Julia was cleaned and ready to see company again, Demelza caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and stopped.  With Julia she peered closely at herself for the first time in a long time.  Despite the lack of sleep many nights and food some others, she didn’t look half bad for a 24 year old, stressed, alone, not quite, war widow.  Her skin was clear and had a hint of rosiness that she attributed to the cold air and moving around taking care of things. The blue/green eyes, with their long lashes shone brightly; more than they had for awhile. And her ginger red hair, that when loose, curled and twirled into ringlets of their own accord, was now fashionably pulled up into a victory roll pony tail.  For whatever reason, the arrival of Captain Ross Poldark had lightened the mood over Nampara cottage and made Demelza feel as though and she was glad.  Perhaps this Christmas was not going to be so bad after all.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Getting to know you.....

Demelza made tea for them and they took it in the living room while Julia sat contently in her playpen gumming a biscuit and watching her mother and the stranger.  She studied the man across from her took in his features more closely.  With his cap off, she could now see his head was a mess of tousled curls fighting to stay in control and losing.  He was thinner than she originally thought but that was surely due to the lack of decent food, coupled with his being injured and in hospital for weeks.  And still he was a handsome man with a demeanor that came across as more than just pleasant.  He appeared to be  jovial, kind and for some reason, Demelza the word loving came to mind.  How she picked up on that last trait she didn’t know but she felt it.  

Now she watched as Ross looked down at Julia every so often and gave her a smile which was met with a giggle.  Demelza observed the scene and was amazed that her daughter had taken so quickly to a new person, let alone a man.  Since Michael’s death, she hadn’t even thought about men or dating.  Her life was full with taking care of her daughter and making a life for themselves.  And except for the nights when her dreams took her back to Michael, she made a conscious effort to not dwell on him either.  It occurred to her that she still had not allowed herself to truly grieve or cry.  Maybe there was something wrong with her.  Her mind was about to go to that place when she heard her guest speak.

“Demelza?  You’re American, aren’t you?  That’s an unusual name for an American. How long have you lived here?” 

Shaken from her thoughts she took a minute and then responded.

“Yes I am.  Thank you for not saying ‘American’ with the typical British sneer,“ Demelza said, taking a sip of tea.  “My grandmother was from Cornwall so I was given her name.  I got plenty of teasing at school for having it too.  And since you asked, I’ve been here at Nampara since Julia’s father died.  He left it to us in his will,” she offered, conveniently avoiding the husband factor.    But apparently Captain Poldark was not going to do that.

“How long were you married?” he asked innocently, taking another sip of his tea.  Demelza thought for a moment and was going to lie but she seemed to trust this man and so told him the truth. 

“We weren’t,”  she said plainly and waited for his reaction.

 Ross put his cup down and regarded his hostess carefully.  He couldn’t help but notice when he met her outside the mass of flaming red hair that she had pulled into a style of the day but that seemed to have a mind of its own.  A few wispy tendrils fell around her face giving her a softness that only accentuated the blue green of her eyes; a feature the Ross noticed immediately when they met. They were the color of the sea and shone just as brightly.  As she sat on the sofa, Ross also noticed that her legs seemed to go on for days and that her waist was so tiny he could most likely circle it easily with one hand. He realized as he took in all of her how long it had been since he regarded a woman in that way. The only females he’d encountered in the past months were nurses and they were far from attractive, even in personality.  Demelza Carne was the first woman who seemed intelligent, generous, and who, considering her circumstance, might come to be someone he could trust and confide in.  It had been a long time since he had a woman in his life that made him feel so comfortable.  Considering they just met, he was surprised at the immediate connection and was sure she felt it too.  He saw that Demelza had gotten quiet after her last statement and that she had lowered her eyes and focused them on the hands in her lap.  He sensed her embarrassment and wanting to put her at ease thought of the right words to say.

“Well, I’m sure he loved you very much.  It must have been something insurmountable to keep him from marrying you,” Ross said, not a whisper of judgment in his comment.  Demelza looked up and saw his face break into a crooked smile.  Surprised but still unsure she decided to open up the discussion that she was sure he was avoiding.

“Yes. It’s called the war,” she replied with just a touch of bitterness.  Ross was taken aback because he didn’t expect her bluntness.  But he found it attractive.  Seeing his reaction, Demelza suddenly felt embarrassed at her outburst and retreated a little.  “I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to sound so snarky.  So, don’t you want to know the details?” she said a little defensively.  Ross picked up on that but didn’t take the bait.

“Only if you want to tell me,” he said gently. 

Demelza saw the warmth in his eyes and debated going into the whole story but held back.  They had just met and yet she was ready to pour her heart out to this man without hesitation but thought the better of it.  No need to scare him with her tale of woe.

“Maybe someday, Captain, but not today.  I hope you understand,” she said.

“Absolutely.  And I told you to call me Ross,” he responded.  Demelza smiled shyly her cheeks turning rosy. 

“I’m sorry.  I forgot.  I haven’t had many visitors or friends so I think I lost my manners book.”  This time she was the one with the grin and it immediately eased the mood in the room.  “What about you, Ross?”  She reached for the teapot to pour him another cup.

“Me?”

She filled his cup again and handed him the milk and sugar. “Yes. Tell me about yourself.”

“Are you asking me about my scar and limp in a roundabout way?”  He took a sip and eyed Demelza over the cup.

Now it was Demelza’s to be surprised at his honesty and blushed.  Ross put his cup down and stood.  Demelza thought she had insulted him and was about to apologize when he spoke first.

“I need to stretch.  If I sit too long my leg stiffens and it makes the limp worse.”  He walked around the room and stopped in front of Julia’s playpen.  Turning towards Demelza he asked, “May I?” indicating that he wanted to pick her up.  Astonished at his request, she could only nod.

Reaching down he picked up the little girl and Demelza waited for her to start crying.  But it didn’t happen.  Instead Julia raised her chubby arms and went immediately to grab and Ross’s hair. The curl that fell over his eye was too tempting to the little girl and she tugged with all her might.  Ross could do nothing but acquiesce and laugh.

Seeing the scene before her, Demelza jumped up to rescue Ross from her daughter’s clutches but as she approached to take Julia back from her guest he started to sway with the little girl tight against his chest.

“Ross, give her to me.  Or you’ll find yourself missing a clump of hair,” Demelza said, trying hard not to laugh. 

Ross turned around to face her and was grinning from ear to ear as he had his head bent towards Julia, a curl tight in her fist. 

“It’s fine Demelza.  As you can see I have plenty to spare,” he said, his voice muffled by his position. 

“No really. She needs to learn she can’t grab at everything she thinks she wants,” Demelza said as she moved towards them.  Standing next to Ross as he continued to hold Julia, she was immensely aware of his male presence and found her breathing coming in short huffs.  She took her daughter’s hand and carefully uncurled her fingers loosening her hold on his locks.  As she did so, her hand brushed his forehead and again charge traveled up her arm seeming to go straight to her heart.  Ross’s gaze didn’t falter but Demelza found herself on shaky ground. What was it about this man that had this kind of effect on her?

“Doesn’t every girl go for what they think they want?” he asked.  His lips were close to her ear as he spoke and he inhaled the scent of her hair that was just the cold winter air that clung to her tresses.  He was so close she felt his breath on the nape of neck, bristling the hair that was coming lose from her ponytail.  This put Demelza at a loss and she hard pressed to come up with a witty reply but she wasn’t going to let him get the better of her. Moving her head slightly so that she could look directly into his eyes, she found her voice.

“I think it depends on if the thing is worth fighting for,” she murmured almost under her breath. Ross stepped back so he could see her fully.  She was not backing away from the conversation that had spawned from a little girl’s impulsive action.  He was impressed and more than a little attracted to this young   “widow”.  As reluctant as he was to move into a unfamiliar surroundings, he found that sentiment falling by the way side.  Now he was looking forward to a few weeks with Demelza Carne and her daughter.  Perhaps this year Christmas would be the happy holiday it was meant to.

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ross and Demelza get comfortable in their temporary domestic situation and Christmas is coming.....

Ross’s stay at Nampara helped to make the time pass for Demelza in a way she hadn’t even noticed until she looked at the calendar and realized that Christmas was only days away.  During the time Ross had been there, Demelza found she was feeling less burdened and more like her old self; the woman who came to Nampara a little over year ago, anticipating the birth of her child and the return of the man she loved.  Without being conscious of it she took to dressing more like a young woman of twenty four instead of a “widow” of twenty four; slacks and sweaters as opposed to matronly type dresses. The wardrobe change was also attributed to the cold weather and the lack of stockings available during the war.  She also let her hair loose giving her a sense of freedom as well, trading in the hairpins and victory rolls for scarves and ribbons.  Ross as well seemed to change although his transformation was more subtle than Demelza’s.  After a few days of wearing the only clothes he carried, namely a uniform or some variation of it, Demelza was able to find trousers and shirts in an old trunk in the attic.  Perhaps not the most stylish but they fit so she assumed they might have been Michael’s at one point.  She’d never seen him in civilian clothes so passing them to Ross was not as awkward as it might have been if they were actually coming out of her lover’s closet.  Ross didn’t seem to mind at all where they came from. He was glad to be out of army issue garb.  And neither did Demelza, for when she saw him, he cut a pretty handsome figure.  Again, she was surprised at the feelings that stirred when she was around Ross and twinges of guilt crept into her psyche as well. Part of her was saying she should still be missing and mourning Michael. The other part, the part that was here and in the presence of Ross Poldark told her there was nothing wrong with moving on to start living again. 

On top of her own newly found emotions, she saw how Julia had taken to Ross without qualms.  Her daughter practically jumped out of her high chair when he came into the kitchen during meals, banging her spoon and reaching out for him.  Demelza wasn’t sure if she should be upset that Julia seemed to connect to Ross so quickly or grateful that she had someone else to share her with.  It was not jealousy so much as a kind of sadness that Ross was getting the attention and love her daughter could not give her real father. That was no one’s fault and if truth be told, Demelza questioned what makes a “real” father?  Is it the person whose DNA ran through the child?  Or is it the person who helped shape and mold them into human beings?  Due to circumstance beyond their control, Michael was not here to assume those duties so why not Ross?  He didn’t seem to mind and in fact seemed to thrive on it. Often Demelza would catch him playing with Julia or feeding her a bottle without solicitation.  He even soothed and rocked her to sleep, swaying around the room, Julia secure in one arm, cane in the other,  humming a silly Ella Fitzgerald tune, “A Tisket, A Tasket”  or listening to low playing jazz on the radio. The child had as much of a healing effect on Ross as Ross did on Demelza. 

She finally got the nerve to ask him the other night how he got injured.  It was after dinner and Julia was fast asleep after a day playing outside in the fresh winter air.  They were sitting in the living room in front of a fire that Ross had built, listening to the radio.  From where she sat, Demelza could see the scar that lined his face but that didn’t diminish his good looks.  It actually gave him an air of danger and intrigue.  She was staring at him when Ross looked up and caught her.  Not aware she had been busted, she kept looking until she heard Ross clear his throat.

“Is there something wrong with my face?” he asked.  His gaze was aimed directly at her but he wasn’t angry or even embarrassed. As usual, his face was split with a teeth baring grin that made Demelza feel foolish.  Rising from the sofa, Ross bent to stoke the fire, his back turned to her.  Demelza unceremoniously blurted out, “No, your face is fine.” 

He straightened and looked over his shoulder.  He could see she was starting to blush and felt sorry for teasing her and making her feel uncomfortable.

“What I meant was, there’s nothing wrong with it.”  Shaking her head Demelza knew she had dug a hole for herself and now tried to think of a way out of it.  Ross said nothing to help but waited because he could see she was trying to think of something to redeem herself. Seeing no way out, Demelza sat up and let the bold American emerge.

“How did you get the scar?” she asked simply.  She let out a breath and sat back as Ross contemplated her question.  Putting down the poker, he walked back to the sofa and leaning his elbows on his knees, with hands folded began to answer.

“It was nothing exciting.  Shrapnel thanks to a grenade hitting near the foxhole I was in along with some buddies.  I was lucky,” he said softly as he turned to stare at the blaze.

“How’s that?  You’ve got a jagged scar that looks it could have taken an eye and a cane as a new fashion statement.”

Ross lifted his head and said, “I’m still here.”  The comprehension of what he was saying hit and Demelza felt a pang of guilt for bringing up the topic and making light of it not to mention the sudden rush of memories that surrounded her own loss.  She felt like an idiot.

“Oh god, Ross I am so sorry.  I didn’t mean to sound flippant.  You’d think I’d know better considering...” 

“Considering Michael wasn’t one of the lucky ones?”

“Yes.”  Now it was her turn to hang her head.  Seeing her distress, Ross wasn’t going to let her take on any guilt for her question.  He moved to the sofa she was sitting on and after a moment’s hesitation, covered her hands with his.  Once again he felt what can only be described as an electric charge course through his body.  Demelza raised her head and looked at him and he could see those enormous blue-green eyes shimmering with unshed tears. 

“Demelza, its fine.  I know that for whatever reason, I was spared.  Granted the new facial accessory is not what most people want as a souvenir but I’ll take it.  It’s a reminder of how much war is a waste of men.  And women.”  He smiled gently and gave her hand a squeeze.  “As for the cane, it gives me an air of distinction, don’t you think?  Especially here in Cornwall.  It makes me look like a country squire.”

Demelza saw the glint in his eye and relaxed.  She looked at him and wondered what Michael would think of him.  Ironically she thought they’d probably be friends or drinking buddies at least.

Ross noticed that she was lost in some sort of private thought and went to move, when she held his hand tight and threaded her fingers through his.

“Thank you,” she said with a smile.  He rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb and returned the smile.

“For what?” he asked.

“For not making me feel like the idiot I am. And for saying what you did. About the war, I mean.”   Her voice was low but strong.

“I didn’t say it just so words would come out of my mouth. I meant it.”   They didn’t move from their position but were brought out of their trance by a knock at the door.  Demelza jumped at the sound and abruptly pulled her hands out of Ross’s as if she were caught doing something wrong.  She stood and took a minute before walking through the room to the front door. Ross watched as she retreated and letting out a breath, leaned back on the sofa and closed his eyes.  Something was happening and he was not sure exactly how to handle it.  He hadn’t these kinds of feelings since before the war.  Since Elizabeth.  And even with her it was nothing like what he felt just being near Demelza.  His mind wandered reluctantly back to his ex girlfriend when Demelza came back into the room.  She had her arms wrapped around her body trying to warm up as she walked directly to the fire.

Ross was mesmerized by her beauty. The brief encounter with cold air made her cheeks turn a rosy color and whipped her hair just enough so that wild curls framed her face.  And just like that, as if he was hit with the same blast of cold air, Ross realized that he was falling in love with her.  Surprisingly it didn’t faze him as he expected.  It was more as if someone pulled back the curtain and he saw the obvious.  But he didn’t know Demelza’s feelings and had no idea how to broach that topic so for now, he would just keep it to himself.

“That was Zacky Martin.  He came to ask if we would like to go to a Christmas Eve party.” She spoke with her back to him focusing on the fire and the heat.  She turned and crossing her arms on her chest, gave Ross a knowing smirk.  “He said he told you last week when you two went to order a Christmas tree.”

Ross sat up and now he was the one blushing. 

“I can explain,” he stammered. Demelza tilted her head as she waited for him to answer.  She liked being in the position of watching him squirm for once.

“Go on, then.  Explain,” she said with obvious teasing in her voice.  Sitting down on the rug in front of the fireplace she tucked her legs underneath as she held his gaze.

“It’s really nothing, Demelza.  I met Zacky during one my walks and we just hit it off.  I told him that I wanted to thank you for all you’d done for me and that I thought you might like a Christmas tree. Especially since it was Julia’s first.  So we went to Truro one day and I was able to order one.  It should be here tomorrow.”   He stopped talking.  Demelza didn’t move.  She just stared, trying to figure out this man in front of her.  How did he know that a Christmas tree was the one thing she didn’t know how to get and that it was the one thing she wanted to make this a real holiday?

“Ross, I don’t know what to say,” she murmured.  She sat quietly for a moment and then, in an attempt to lighten the mood said, “And the party invitation?”

“That was a total oversight.  I forgot,” he said sheepishly.  Demelza saw his discomfort and feeling sympathetic let him off the hook.

“Ross its fine.  I’m just surprised that you’ve made friends so quickly and I’ve been here a year and barely know my neighbors. “

Sliding to the edge of the sofa, he leaned over and said, “Demelza, you need to let some of your guard down.  People around here want to get to know you and Julia.”

Looking up at him, Demelza knew he was right. She had closed herself off in this house because she assumed that people had labeled her due to her lack of a husband.  Perhaps Ross was right and she had misjudged the situation.

“I don’t know Ross.  It’s hard when I think that the town is whispering behind my back about me and my daughter.”

“Demelza, they’re not,” Ross assured her. 

“How do you know?  You don’t even know my whole story.”  She knew that now was the time to come clean and tell him exactly where her fear came from.  And maybe even what she was feeling now.

“So tell me Demelza. I’m here. Talk to me,” he said as he made room on the sofa for her to join him.   She did but kept a distance apart from him which he immediately picked up on but said nothing.  Ross wanted her to open up to him so she could start to really trust him, just like he trusted her.  Without any formalities, Demelza started to speak.

“Michael and I met at a USO canteen.  He was handsome and charming and basically swept me off my feet. Cynical American that I am, I thought he was just a typical man in uniform looking for a good time before going to war.  But there was something about him that made me feel maybe he wasn’t like that.  So we went out and before the night was over, I knew I loved him. That same night he told me he was being sent to Germany on a mission.  It only took us a minute to decide that we wanted to get married.  I don’t know what came over us.  Maybe it was the clichéd idea that in war time we have to take every moment as it comes but whatever it was, we both felt it.  We tried finding someone to marry us but because I was an American it would have taken longer to get permission from governments, etc.  So we found a church and went in and made vows to each other.  We had a few wonderful days together before he left.  I never thought that would be the last time I saw him.  He gave me the keys to this place before he left and told me to wait for him here.  I didn’t think twice and didn’t look back.  The last thing I thought was that I’d be getting the news that he was dead and that I was pregnant.  So I pulled myself together, got ready for the baby and the rest is….boring.”  She smiled as she finished and caught her breath. 

Ross didn’t say anything during her monologue.  He thought better of it because he knew if he interrupted her, she’d stop and most likely wouldn’t tell him the whole truth.

“Well, don’t you have anything to say?  Are you scandalized to be sharing your house with a never married woman and her illegitimate child?”  There was a sarcastic tone to her voice that Ross knew was covering deeper emotions.  He turned her to face him and held her gently by the shoulders, forcing her to look at him.  

“Demelza Carne, you are the strongest and bravest woman I know.  There is nothing scandalous about you. So stop thinking that. And don’t you dare use that other term for Julia.  She is a gift and to me she’s been a godsend.  As have you.  Do you have any idea what being here with the two of you has done?  It’s restored my faith in people. And in love.”

He said that last statement slowly and directly at her.  Demelza’s eyes widened as she digested what he’d just said.  A slow smile graced his face as he reached out to tilt her chin up.  She knew what was coming and she wasn’t sure she was ready for it.  Not because she didn’t want it, because her heart, mind and body screamed that she did.  She just wasn’t sure if now was the time.  So she bolted, practically running out and up the stairs to her room.  Ross was left to sit there, contemplating what had just happened.  Was he that wrong to assume Demelza felt the same as him?  Was he that off his game?  Not wanting to dwell on it, he moved to put out the fire and head up to his own room.  He walked up the stairs slowly, stopping at her door for a minute to make sure she was alright and then headed to bed. 

Tomorrow was a new day and he hoped that the arrival of the Christmas tree and the party they were invited to would help in getting Demelza to let down her wall.  More than anything Ross wanted this Christmas to be special for her and Julia.  As he changed and lay down on the bed, hands behind his head he thought back over the night’s discussions and something occurred to him.  He wondered if what he said earlier about being spared was not prophetic.  Maybe the reason he was lucky and had survived his wounds was to come here and meet Demelza.  He wasn’t normally one to believe in fate but this could be one time when something was actually “meant to be”.  On that note, he closed his eyes and allowed his dreams to take over. Those dreams included a feisty red head and her cherubic daughter.  Ross Poldark never imagined that this would be the life he wanted.  And he was glad he’d found it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all who are reading and commenting. It makes being impulsive in writing all worth it. A reminder that this story is not attempting to be historically accurate in any way, shape or form. It's pure, unadulterated Poldark fluff. And it seems many need this kind of romantic, happy story during the holidays. Myself included.  
> Thanks also to @alicebhatt for the inspiration.....


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas Eve Eve....trees, lights, hesitations and confessions. Oh and maybe a little romance.....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a reminder that is strictly a piece of fluffy goodness being written by instinct only so please excuse any inaccuracies or other errors.

The tree arrived early the next day and once it was set up Ross and Zacky went to town to get decorations and some other items needed for Nampara to really reflect the holiday spirit.  The fir tree fit perfectly by the front window behind the sofa and Demelza rummaged through closets to find a cloth to wrap around the base.  She had to admit that the smell reminded her of her childhood in the states and the familiarity of it lightened her mood.  The conversation from the night before replayed in Demelza’s head as she started to decorate the living room with more greenery and candles.  Julia sat contently in her playpen, chewing on blocks and cooing to herself.  Looking down at her daughter, Demelza saw how happy she seemed and admitted that her daughter’s mood was infectious.   There was no shadow crossing over her as it had in the recent past.  And yet a twinge of guilt passed through her at the memory of Ross wanting to kiss her and not wanting to stop him, but she did because in that moment she thought she was betraying Michael.   

She also thought for certain that her rebuke of his overture would be met with coolness this morning, on the contrary he was the same, cheerful man he’d been since he arrived. If anything he seemed even more at ease and that alleviated Demelza’s second thoughts about their relationship.  Did she really just use that word when about think what she and Ross had?  The idea wasn’t unpleasant which is why Demelza had her guard back up; at least for the time being.

Christmas brought enough emotions with it; being away from the states; not having much money for presents; and of course Julia’s first but without both her parents.  Fortunately the little girl didn’t realize that and was at this moment just a joyful infant.  Demelza placed the white candles she had bought around the room in the ancient sconces and holders that came with the house.  Garland and berries were tied in bunches and lay on the mantel piece and around bookshelves.  Stepping back she took a survey of the room and wasn’t displeased with the outcome.  She was still unsure about how the whole holiday was going to turn out especially when she saw the bareness under the tree. It reminded her that she still had to wrap the small presents she had gotten.  She knew that Julia would be happy with anything because was too young to know to want presents. Lucky for Demelza, on a rare trip to town she found a small stuffed animal that reminded her of her dog back home, Garrick.  Scruffy and golden, it was nothing fancy but thought it perfect for this first Christmas. 

As for Ross, Demelza knew he loved music and jazz and happened across a store that sold slightly used records. She rummaged through the racks and found a couple of 78s of Benny Goodman and Ella Fitzgerald, the latter having a version of the song he’d been singing to Julia about the basket.  She also found a current record by Bing Crosby that seemed appropriate for their situation.  It was more than she intended on spending but Ross deserved it. She just hoped he liked them.  She lucked out again when, while she was cleaning the library,  she found a record player.  Testing it one day when Ross was out, she found it worked but needed a new needle.  Taking Ross’s advice to reach out to her neighbors she enlisted Zacky’s help in fixing the player. It now sat in her room waiting to be brought down and hooked up.  Demelza wanted it all to be a surprise so she was going to put everything out Christmas Eve, after the Martin’s party and when she was sure Julia and Ross were in bed. 

Satisfied with the overall look of the room, she felt the need for something warm and was headed for the kitchen when without provocation her eyes were drawn to the spinet and Michael’s picture that sat on it.  Walking over she picked it up and gazed at his face, her fingers tracing the frame.  Her mind again went to the events of last night and this morning and the feelings she knew were growing for Ross.  Taking a deep breath she did something she didn’t think she would ever do. Holding the picture to her chest she glanced over at her daughter, gave her a smile and then decided to put Michael away.  Opening the drawer to the heavy wooden chest, where she kept the port for those nights she needed comfort, she slipped the photo in and quietly shut it.  Thinking about it now, she hadn’t needed the port since Ross arrived. Perhaps he was a cure for drinking as well. Smiling to herself, she turned back to Julia and leaning against the furniture, closed her eyes and let out a breath.  And still tears didn’t come.  Demelza was beginning to wonder if maybe she was a totally heartless human being.  She let that thought simmer for a moment before shaking it because dwelling on her personality flaws was not a holiday tradition she wanted to start. Instead she headed to the kitchen to make herself a pot of tea while she waited for the men to return.

Demelza felt rather than heard the door open as a gust of cold air entered the hallway.

“Demelza?”  Ross called.  He sounded breathless and coming out of the kitchen she saw that he was laden with boxes and bags. Zacky was right on his heels with even more packages.

“Did you buy out all of Truro?” she laughed.  Zacky looked at her over the pile in his hands and was about to answer as Ross made his way gingerly to the living room.  His hands were full so he couldn’t use his cane and his steps, while steadier than before, were still tentative. Demelza moved quickly to his side.

“Here, give me some of those before we have more ornaments on the floor than the tree, “she said.  Ross stopped and gave her look that indicated he was hurt and Demelza realized what she had said. “Ross I didn’t mean anything….” she stammered as her hands grabbed for one of the bags. 

“Demelza, its fine.  Even if I had two good legs, I’d still have trouble balancing all these packages.” 

She stood still once again surprised at his easy going attitude and was unsure how to deal with it.  Ross saw her uncertainty and was amused. 

“Well are you going to help or not?” he said, trying to pass a box to her as he brushed past on his way to the living room.  Demelza caught the package as Ross thrust it at her and followed him and Zacky, who watched the scene with delight, into the room.  Ross dumped the packages on the sofa and table and then walked straight to the playpen to pick up Julia.  Zacky did the same and dropped into the nearest chair, taking off his scarf and coat.

“Hey there pretty girl how are you?”  His tone was loving and sincere.  Nuzzling her cheek and giving her a kiss, he laughed as she rubbed the stubble on his face.  “I’ve missed you little one.” 

Demelza was watching Julia and Ross together when the teapot whistled. Brought out of her reverie she said, “Anyone want tea?”  Ross halted his interaction with Julia for the minute to turn and look at Demelza.  His hair fell over his eyes making him look boyish and nothing like a wounded war veteran making her heart skip a beat.  His smile was contagious and she smiled in return. 

“Tea would be nice,” he answered.  A look passed between them as Zacky watched from the sofa and piped up.

“I’ll take something stronger if you have it,” he said. 

Drawn back into the room and noticing their guest, Demelza offered, “I’m afraid I don’t have much.  Just some port.”  She walked over to the breakfront and hesitated as she remembered what was in the drawer.  Pushing out whatever negative thought was trying to enter her mind, she got the bottle and a glass and poured Zacky a draught.

She moved back across the room, sidling alongside Ross and her daughter who were now engaged in some deep conversation about her toys.  Keeping down a giggle she handed Zacky his drink and left to make the tea.  From the kitchen she heard the men starting to unpack the boxes and paper bags all the while her daughter cooing and trying to be a part of what was going on.  Carrying out a pair of mugs, Demelza caught the men trying to hide something so she casually placed the tea on the side table and moved towards them.

“What’s that?” she said pointing to a small paper packet tied with gold ribbon.  Ross’s face immediately turned red even through the day old beard as he tried to hide it behind his back.  Looking at Zacky for help and seeing none coming he struggled with an answer.

“It’s….it’s a present.  For you.  I wanted it to be a surprise so make believe you didn’t see anything okay?”  He was self conscious and Demelza saw that.  Whatever he had gotten her must be something special for him to trip over himself that way.

“Ross, you didn’t have to get me anything,” she said softly as she put her hand on his forearm.

“Yes, I did. You’ve been so amazingly kind to me these past weeks. You deserve it.” 

Demelza was flattered at his comment and at the fact that he was shy about getting her a gift. 

“That’s really sweet.  As a matter of fact, I got you something too but I’m not going to let you see it until Christmas.  Like we’re supposed to do. So, maybe we should get moving on it. What do you say?” 

Ross saw her face light up with little kid excitement and wanted to join in that. 

“Patience.  Let me put this present away even though it’s no longer a surprise. And then we can start.” 

Ross grabbed his cane and the package and went up to his room.  In truth, he was grateful for a little bit of space.  Just seeing her after being out for only an hour or so made him realize how much he missed her.  His feelings for her were becoming a deep attachment that could end badly if he was wrong about those feelings being reciprocated.  This was especially painful as he thought about the fact that his time in Cornwall was coming to an end. While in town he stopped by the post office to see if he had any news of his commission and fortunately or unfortunately, depending on how one saw it, there was.  Pulling the letter out of his pocket he sat down on the bed and opened it. He read it once and then read it again.  He was being honorably discharged due to his injuries.  He took a moment to let that news sink in because he hadn’t expected that.  He was prepared to go back into service in some way and was mentally preparing to leave Cornwall.  Now he was given a reprieve that he didn’t know he wanted because deep down he didn’t know how he would cope with leaving Demelza and Julia.  Ross put thoughts of what could happen aside for what was happening now. And right now that meant making a great Christmas for Demelza, Julia and even himself.

 Downstairs in the living room Demelza’s face lit up as she looked at all the decorations on the table. There were glass ornaments of every color and strings of lights.  There were also baskets of cranberries and rolls of iridescent ribbon.  She walked around the table, grazing her fingers over the objects as if trying to convince herself this was real.  When she reached the end of the table, her eyes caught sight of a parcel that was wrapped in tissue.  She picked it up and carefully unwrapped it to reveal a silver star.

Demelza was lost in thoughts and forgot that Zacky was still sitting in her living room until he stood up to leave. He handed her his empty glass just as Ross came back into the room.  A look passed between Ross and Demelza that was not lost on Zacky who smiled to himself.

“I’ll leave you to it,” Zacky said as he walked out.  He stopped at the door and turned back towards the pair.  “Don’t forget about the party tomorrow night.  I’ll send Jinny around to watch Julia for you. That way there’s no excuse not to have a good time.”  He tipped his hat and left.

Demelza glanced at Ross when Zacky mentioned his daughter babysitting Julia.  She’d never left her with anyone before and was hesitant to do so now. 

“What did Zacky mean about Jinny watching Julia?”  She sounded worried and Ross set about reassuring her.  He casually started to unbox the ornaments to begin decorating the tree.  Picking up a shiny bulb, he stood next to the tree and placed it delicately on a branch.

“Well?” Demelza repeated.

“Zacky and I thought you might like a night out with grownups and so he offered to have Jinny babysit for the night.”  He spoke with his body turned towards the tree, avoiding her glare because he could feel it burn his back.

“Ross, you had no right to make that decision for me!” She was upset at his presumptive action.  “I’ve never left Julia with anyone since she’s been born.”  Ross was taken aback at her irritation and put it down more to her reluctance to socialize with the neighbors than leaving Julia with someone else.

“You let me watch her,” he stated simply.  Demelza gave him a look that made him shrink back just a little. Now was not the time to toy with her, he could tell.

“Yes but that’s different. I’m always nearby.  This would be different.  I’d be leaving her alone with someone I barely know.”

“Demelza, we’ll only be a few houses away.  By the time we go Julia will be ready for bed. How much trouble can she get into when she’s asleep? Besides, there is the telephone. You can check on her if you need to.” 

She watched as he made all the arguments for this happening and nothing for it not. 

“Besides, I would really like to spend part of the holiday with you, dressed up and acting like grownups.  Before I go.”  He paused before he made the last statement and that got Demelza’s attention.  The recognition that his time with her was coming to an end was enough to make her back away from her objection.

“Ross, “she started to say. “I want that too.  I can’t remember the last time I dressed up to go to a party.” He smiled when he saw she was caving in to the idea and walked casually back to the table to get another ornament. This time he picked up the lights and hanging them on his arm, went to an outlet to plug them in for testing. He waited as she mulled over the situation.  Now as he laid the strand out on the floor he heard her say.

“Okay.  I’ll go.  But if I call and think that something isn’t right, we can come home right?”

He went over to her and grasping her shoulders said, “Yes.  But I think it will be fine.”  Looking over at Julia in the play pen, he gave her wink and she giggled back at him. Demelza couldn’t help but grin at the silent communication between her daughter and Ross which put her back in the holiday mood.

“Great. Now that we’ve settled that, can we please decorate the tree?” he pled as he held up the lights.

Knowing the battle was lost, Demelza went over to take an end and they started to wrap the tree in them.

“How do you do that?” she asked him as she reached around to place the string on a branch.

“Do what?” Ross was confused at her question.  He hadn’t thought he’d done anything.

“Get me to do things I don’t want to,” she said, her head tilted to one side, a small grin on her face as she passed them back to him.

“Demelza, if I know one thing about you, it’s that you won’t do anything you don’t want to. All I do is show you the other side of something.  If you really didn’t want to go to Zacky’s party, you wouldn’t.”

Again, she was amazed at his insight and how well he knew her. 

“You’re right.”

“I know I am. Although I am glad you acquiesced so quickly.  And can I tell you I can’t wait to see you in a dress.  Not that I don’t like you in slacks or jeans. It’s just that I can tell your legs are too gorgeous to keep under wraps.” 

Demelza stared at him in amazement. “Are you flirting with me, Captain Poldark?”  Ross stopped what he was doing and looked her dead on.

“Yes I am, Miss Carne.  Is that a problem?”  As he waited for her to answer he finished wrapping the lights on the tree.  Demelza thought about what was happening and without a second thought answered.

“No. Not at all.”  Her voice was low and almost seductive.  That was not lost on Ross.  He stared at her and without a word, plugged in the lights.  The room glowed with multicolor hues as Ross picked up Julia so she could see the tree.  Gurgling in his ear, she made a move to grab at one of the bulbs, but Ross was quick enough to step back before any damage was done. 

“Here, let me take her.  I’ll feed her and then we can finish up.”  As she took Julia from him, her hands brushed his chest.  Again, they felt a spark of something and both looked at each other with a knowing glance. 

“I’ll be back in a few.  Carry on,” she teased.  Ross saluted before he went back to arranging the ornaments on the tree a smile gracing his face. 

****~~~~****

The sun set and the room got dark allowing the tree to illuminate the room with a magical glow.  The excitement of the day was a lot for Julia so after Demelza fed her earlier she kept her up longer than usual so that she’d finally go down hopefully for the night.  So far so good for there was not a peep out of her so far. Demelza and Ross had finished decorating and were having a silent dinner with each of them lost in their own thoughts.  The only sound echoing in the room was that of utensils clinking against the dishes. Every so often they’d raise their heads and glance at each other as if they wanted to say something but not sure how to start. Finally when it became too much, Ross cleared his throat and spoke.

“Demelza, this is silly.  Since when don’t you have something to say?”  Demelza put her fork down and leaning her elbows on the table, answered.

“What does that mean?”

“You know.  You’re not shy or short on conversation. Is something wrong?”  Ross had a tone of genuine concern and Demelza saw that.

“Nothing’s wrong Ross.  Not really.  It’s just the time of year, you know.  The typical holiday things.”

“And missing Michael?” he asked quietly.  Now he stopped eating while he waited for her to answer.

She shouldn’t have been surprised at his bluntness and so she answered just as honestly.

“No, actually.  And maybe that’s the problem.”  Ross was not expecting that answer so he didn’t have a ready comeback.  She wanted to explain but didn’t want to do it over the table.

“Here, let me clear and we can talk.”  She rose and picked up the dishes. Ross joined her in the clearing away and followed her into the kitchen.  Demelza put the dishes in the sink, rinsing them under the tap, swiping them with a soapy sponge as she started to speak.

“I don’t know what it is Ross but I can’t seem to churn up the feelings of mourning that I think I’m supposed to have.  And I feel guilty about it.  You would think I should be holed up in this house for the holidays, crying over Michael’s picture and wailing about my lot.  But I’m not.”

Ross took the dishes from her as she washed them and dried them slowly giving her time to talk. He watched her face and saw a range of emotions cross them even if she didn’t know she was revealing them.  She turned to him feeling his eyes on her.

“Aren’t you going to say anything?  Some comment about my not loving Michael enough or being selfish. Because believe me, you couldn’t say anything to me that I haven’t thought myself.”  Her voice was getting tense and rising in volume.

“Demelza, why would I think any of those things?  Do you think I don’t understand or haven’t gone through some heartbreak myself?”  He put the dish in the drain board that he was drying and moved to sit by the kitchen table, his leg starting to ache. Demelza saw him limp to a seat and turning off the water, joined him.

“Ross, I’m sorry.  I’ve been going on and on about me and in all this time I have never asked you about yourself.  Wow, I really am a self centered person aren’t I?”  She sat back and crossed her arms, her head wrapping around that last thought. Seeing her distress, Ross reached out and touched her shoulder gently.

“Demelza, you are so far from being self centered it’s ridiculous.  Who else would open their home to a total stranger let alone a wounded soldier who could be less than honorable?” Raising her head she looked at him as he continued.

“As for asking me about my life, I could have offered it up but didn’t.  It’s a two way street,” he said plainly.  A weak smile came to her face as she took his hand from her shoulder and held it loosely, her thumb rubbing his lightly.  Now it was her turn to speak, her tone gentle as she started.

“Ok, so now I’m asking.  Tell me about you before the war.  Were you always this brash?”  The teasing in her voice helped and Ross decided he might as well talk about the one person in his past that still clouded his thoughts every so often.

“Before the war, I was working in the family business which was mining.  Not very lucrative but decent and it kept me off the streets.  Somewhat.”  Demelza sat up now, totally engaged in his story yet still holding on to his hand.  

“What do you mean somewhat?  Don’t tell me that Captain Ross Poldark, decorated war hero was actually a renegade and rebel?”  The glint in her eye made him smirk and he had no qualms about telling her the whole story.

“Not a rebel so much as a non conformist.  I just did what I wanted without thinking of the consequences.  Maybe reckless is a better word.  Anyway, I met a girl, Elizabeth and was sure she was “ _the one_ ”. I even proposed.  Well, after our engagement party I found her with my best friend, Francis.  Needless to say I was hurt, embarrassed and mad.  The two people I trusted the most betraying me in the ultimate way.  So on impulse, I joined up.”

“Reckless is right. You couldn’t think of another way to deal with the pain?  Go on a binge or something?  Enlisting was the only out?”  She was legitimately curious about this.

“At the time I wasn’t thinking rationally.  All I saw was red,” Ross answered honestly. Demelza watched his face and understood what he was saying.

“Ross, don’t you think you two could have worked it out? If you really loved each other?” Her question was tentative but Demelza needed to know how Ross felt about his past so she could decide how she felt about the present.

“Maybe.  If we really loved each other. After getting wounded and lying in hospital and not hearing from her, I knew that it wasn’t meant to be.  It was an idealized infatuation.  I didn’t realize it then but I’m grateful it worked out that way.” 

Demelza was now looking directly at Ross, his hand gripping hers tighter. She felt her breath shorten as she saw his gaze move from her eyes to her mouth.  Involuntarily she bit her bottom lip, her gaze searching his face for a sign. Breathlessly she said, “Why?”

“Because all that I went through led me here. To you.” 

Without warning Ross moved his chair around the table closer to Demelza.  Slowly he leaned in and while his one hand held hers, his other cupped her cheek and drew her gently to him, their lips meeting, tentatively tasting each other.  Ross pulled back to look at her face, and again went to kiss her but this time Demelza moved first, taking his bottom lip in hers and grasping the back of his neck, her fingers weaving through his curls. They let their hands go so that they could grab on to each other instead as Demelza rose from her seat and found herself on Ross’s lap.  His hands circled her waist and he was about to slide them up her back when the sound of their kisses was broken by the loud cry of Julia. 

Brought out of their bubble, they leaned their foreheads against each other, catching their breath and started to laugh.

“Perfect timing kid,” Demelza got out.

“Yes, perfect,” Ross replied looking at her face, now flushed and glowing. 

Standing slowly as her knees were just a tad weak, she took a minute to get her bearings and bending down to give Ross another quick peck, said, “I better go check on the princess.  Can you finish up in here?”

“Sure,” Ross said, his voice just as shaky.

With that Demelza left the room, giving a backwards glance to Ross and headed upstairs to see to Julia.  Ross sat in the kitchen and watched her leave deciding that yes, getting wounded was the best thing that happened to him.  Smiling broadly, he went back to the sink and finished the dishes.

Upstairs, Demelza picked up a crying Julia and holding her close to her breast, swayed slowly from side to side, humming the tune Ross had taken to singing to her, “A Tisket, A Tasket”.  Eventually the little girl’s sobs subsided and as she quieted down, Demelza whispered in her daughter’s ear.

“Oh Julia, I think mommy has lost her heart again. You like him don’t you my love?  I do too.  And you know what, precious, I think you’re daddy would like him too.” 

Presently, Demelza felt Julia’s breathing even out and as she laid her back down in the crib, she felt something on her cheek.  Lifting her hand to her face she felt wetness and realized that she was crying.  However, instead of being sad, Demelza knew these were tears for something else.  These were tears of happiness for indeed she was truly happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter to go.....
> 
> Many thanks to all who are reading. I never thought this whim of a story would touch so many people but I'm glad it has. 
> 
> Happy Holidays!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas Eve--finally. Full of friends, fun, new found love. Oh and a blue dress and some stockings for good measure.
> 
> The fluff continues.....

Christmas Eve arrived with a glorious winter sunrise and the promise of a great day.  Demelza woke to an unusually quiet house as her bedroom was bathed in light that warmed the room.  Sitting up she peered over to check on Julia and saw that her crib was empty.  She jumped out of bed and scampered to actually look in the bed and saw it was definitely empty.  Julia wasn’t old enough to make an escape so where could she be?  Hastily wrapping her robe around her, she started to fly down the stairs when she heard a familiar voice coming from the kitchen.

“So Miss Julia, would you like some banana with your porridge this morning?”  The little girl giggled and Demelza stopped on the bottom step, relief running through her before she stealthily moved towards the kitchen and stood by doorway, listening to the “conversation” going on between Captain Ross Poldark and her daughter. 

“Now little lady, tonight your mum and I are going to a party.  I know, you’re probably upset that you’re not invited but you’ll have plenty of time when you’re older to go to dances and parties and meet boys.  And about that, you have to be very careful about boys Julia.  Most of them just want one thing.  I wouldn’t know that of course because I’m a gentleman.”   

Demelza fought to keep from bursting out in laughter at the way Ross was discussing life with her infant daughter. Yet was touched that he had taken to her so completely to feel he could do such a thing. She was about to make her presence known when he continued.  She peeked around the door to see Ross sitting opposite Julia in the high chair, stirring the cereal in the bowl getting ready to scoop it out to feed her.  Fearing discovery, she pulled back and stayed hidden.

“You know Julia your mum is pretty special.  You already know that don’t you? You’re very lucky to have her as your mummy, little one.  And I think I’m lucky too, wouldn’t you agree?  She’s special to me too do you know that?  In fact, I’m pretty sure I’m in love with her. Is that alright with you? “

As if on cue Julia banged her fist on the tray and cooed.  Ross laughed at her movements.

“Do I take that as an approval?  Thank you, Miss Julia.  I promise I’ll make your mum and you happy.”

He got up to get a cup of coffee and as he returned to the table to sit, said, “I hope she feels the same. Do you think she does?”  The little girl looked at him, spoon in hand, waving porridge around as Ross said, and “Do you, Demelza?” 

Ross sat at the table, sipping his coffee, hiding the smirk that grew across his face as he waited for her to appear.  Suddenly a flurry of red hair appeared as Demelza tripped into the kitchen.  She came to where Julia was seated and bent down to give her a kiss on the top of her head, barely avoiding a spoonful of cereal hitting her cheek.  Glancing up at Ross, she rolled her eyes and went to pour herself a cup of coffee, taking longer than usual to avoid facing him and his question.

“How long did you know I was standing there?” she asked, her head bent in shame.

“Not long.  Just at the end.  I heard you shuffling around.”   

Demelza blushed at being discovered eavesdropping but was more uncomfortable at the fact that she now knew for certain Ross’ feelings for her. 

“I didn’t mean to eavesdrop I just didn’t want to interrupt your breakfast conversation with Julia.  It seemed pretty serious.”  It was clear she was teasing him as she walked over to join them at the table. Glancing down at her daughter Demelza couldn’t help by grin at the utter mess she was. Porridge was not only in the bowl and dropped on the tray but smeared on her cheek and even in her hair.  Looking at Ross she gave him a scolding look and waited for some explanation.

“Was the goal to have Julia wearing her breakfast so she could keep it with her during the day?  Perhaps if you weren’t having such a deep discussion you would have noticed she wasn’t getting much food in her mouth,” she stated as she moved to pick Julia up out of the chair.  “I think I’ll get her cleaned up while you take care of this mess.  Is that alright?”  She held Julia at a slight arms distance away, not wanting to share in her meal.  “Come on, kiddo; let’s give you a quick bath. Seems that one skill the captain doesn’t have is feeding others.”  She smirked at Ross over Julia’s shoulder while she watched him try to scrub the high chair tray clean.  He was far from upset and putting down the dishrag, went over to where she stood with Julia and gave her a solid kiss.

“It was worth the mess, Demelza. Because now you know exactly what I’m feeling,” he said firmly.  Turning to Julia who gave a big semi toothless grin, he bent to her and said, “Can you tell your mum that it’s just a little cereal?  Oh and that I think she loves me too?”  Standing upright to face Demelza, his look was challenging, daring her to deny that what he said was wrong.  But Demelza didn’t say anything.   Instead she gathered Julia closer and headed upstairs to do what she started out to.  Ross was more than a little dumbfounded at her lack of response not only to his statement but to his kiss.  Demelza gave up nothing with her lack of reaction which had Ross wondering if he was totally off base.  He didn’t dwell on it though but went back to cleaning up the kitchen for her.   Once the table and high chair were wiped clean and the dishes washed he grabbed his cane and walked slowly to the living room to check on the tree.  The room was chilly so he decided to start a fire.  Maybe that would warm Demelza in more ways than one.  Stacking logs in the hearth he went looking for a match. Seeing none on the mantel he crossed the room to the breakfront where he thought he’d seen a box.  As he passed the spinet, Ross noticed that something was different about it.  He stood and stared at it and then it hit him: the picture of Michael was gone.  Curious, he moved forward and looked around the instrument to see if it had fallen.  It had not.  It was gone and he assumed that Demelza had moved it. 

He continued on his mission and opening the breakfront found the box of matches he was looking for.  And he found Michael’s picture.  So she put him away, Ross thought.  Another sign, to him at least that she was moving on.  And he hoped towards him.  Closing the drawer, he went back to the task of starting a fire and soon there was a roaring blaze going.  He’d gotten very good at the domestic chores over the past weeks with little or no effort.  His mother would have been proud.  Settling down on the sofa, he closed his eyes and just enjoyed the quiet while he thought about what he’d found and what it meant.  He wanted to ask Demelza about it but had to wait for the right time. Then he thought about the night ahead and how much he couldn’t wait to spend this time with her.   He was looking forward to Zacky’s party and meeting more people from the area.  Since he got that formal letter of discharge he was naturally thinking of settling down here. Of course he wanted it to be with Demelza and Julia, but even if that was a totally mislaid plan, he had grown to love Cornwall and its people.  He was reflecting on the future when he heard Demelza call him from upstairs.

“Ross, can you come and get Julia?”  He rose and went upstairs to find Demelza in her room, just finishing dressing Julia.  He went in and waited by the door. As he stood there he saw, hanging on the closet door, a blue crepe dress that was sexy in its simplicity.  Ross wondered if that was what Demelza was going to wear tonight. He hoped it was because then the gift he got her would go perfectly with it.  Before he had a chance to say anything, he found Julia thrust in his arms.

“Here, can you take her downstairs for me?  I have a few presents I want to put under the tree and I can’t carry them and her,” she said with a very matter of fact tone. Ross swung Julia so that she was securely attached to his hip but before he left the room as Demelza wanted he asked her about the dress.

“Is that what you’re wearing tonight?” he said pointing to the hanging garment with his cane.

Looking up Demelza followed the direction he was aiming at and then turned back to Ross.  Her cheeks turned rosy and a shy smile appeared on her face. 

“Yes.  I think so.  It’s one of the few dresses I have that are suitable for a party.  Why? Do you not like it?”  She was now unsure of her choice and was ready to slip into slacks and blouse and forget this dressing up idea. Ross saw the questioning look she had and moved toward her.  He was so focused on Demelza that he didn’t care or notice that Julia had found his hair fascinating and was now grabbing it like a new plaything.

When he was face to face with her he said, “It’s perfect. And I can’t wait to see you in it. And I think the present I got you is just the accessory you need.”  His smirk was evil and Demelza didn’t appreciate that he seemed to have the upper hand in this situation.  Saying nothing more, Ross turned and took Julia out leaving Demelza standing in the middle of the room wondering exactly what he was up to. 

Going to her wardrobe, Demelza reached up and took the dress down from where it hung.  She opened the closet door and held the garment up to her, checking it out in the mirror.  She thought she would look alright for tonight. The color accentuated her eyes and it made her red hair seem even more brilliant.  Luckily it was still fairly in style and material was not too fancy but dressy enough for a holiday party and it fit.  The only other dress she had was the one she wore when she and Michael had tried to get married and that was not an option.  Not if she was true to starting afresh and putting the past away just as she had Michael’s picture.  For a fleeting moment she had second thoughts about that and then it passed. 

“Stop it Demelza,” she scolded herself.  “There is too much to do to dwell on this.  Get going or the day will escape you and you’ll not have time enough to get ready”.  She hung the dress back up and crouched down in the closet to get the gifts.  Taking the record player she piled the discs and Julia’s stuff animal and walked carefully downstairs.  As she entered the living room she saw Julia in her playpen and Ross watching her from his seat on the couch.  He looked up when he caught sight of her out of the corner of his eye and went to go help her.

“Demelza, why didn’t you tell me you had big packages to bring down? I would have helped.”  He attempted to relief her of them and she just walked straight passed him to the tree.

“You did help me by taking Julia.  I’ve got this Ross,” she said as she bent down and placed the gifts underneath the tree.

“Fine.  I just wish you would let me give you a hand every once and while.”  Ross had returned to the sofa near Julia and held his hand out to her to grab in her attempt to stand up. Julia clutched his index finger and squeezed letting out giggle at the same time.  Demelza turned at the sound of her daughter and seeing Ross totally engaged with her felt a pang of guilt at the way she dismissed him.

“Ross,” she said walking around the sofa to where he and Julia were playing.  She crouched down next to the playpen and holding out her hand now for Julia to take, continued.

“You have to know I appreciate everything you’ve done for and with Julia and me these past weeks.  It’s just that those gifts are for you and I didn’t want you guessing what they were which you would have, if you picked them up.  Simple as that.” 

Demelza pulled her hand away from Julia to join his and in an unexpected gesture she leaned up and softly kissed him. Ross reached over with his free hand and wove his fingers through her hair, pulling her closer to him.  A gently moan escaped her lips and feeling control slip away Demelza unlatched herself from his mouth and sat back on her heels.  She smiled up at him and he could do nothing but the same.  In unison they both looked down at Julia who was staring at her mother and Ross with wide eyes, curious as to what was going on.  As if on cue, Demelza and Ross burst into laughter and Julia followed.  Julia raised her arms indicating she wanted one of these adults to pick her up, so her mother did and brought her to sit on her lap.

“How are you my princess?” she said, rubbing her nose in the little girl’s sparse hair, as if trying to memorize her. 

“We’ve been having a great morning, haven’t we Miss Julia,” Ross offered.  “Had a little trouble getting the fire going but once I found the matchbox it was fine.”  He said that last statement directly to Demelza and watched for some sort of recognition. Seeing none, Ross decided to leave the topic of Michael’s moved picture alone until a later date.  He didn’t want anything to ruin this day and night. 

Demelza returned Julia to her playpen and sat back on the sofa with Ross, her hand casually taking his and holding it lightly between them.  He looked down at their woven hands and felt a sense of belonging.  At this moment, in this room and with this woman, Ross Poldark felt as near perfect as ever.  His heart was full of such love for Demelza Carne and her daughter that he wanted to tell whoever would listen.  Yet he held back until he was sure it was returned.  From Demelza’s actions this morning he could almost swear they were but until she said it outright or deliberately showed him, he’d keep that to himself.  He turned his head slightly to look at Demelza and was once again struck by her beauty.  Her alabaster skin framed by the bright red hair that hung in loose waves about her shoulders was mesmerizing. 

Demelza, feeling his eyes on her, turned towards him and with a tilt of her head asked a question that had been plaguing her with curiosity since he mentioned it earlier.

“So Captain, what is this gift that you think is going to come in handy with my dress?”  Her gaze didn’t falter as she waited for him to answer.  Ross on the other hand was torn between waiting until later and giving her the present now.  He knew she was nervous about the whole night.  Not just going to a party with people she barely knew, but leaving Julia with a babysitter and even being alone with him in an adult situation. That last thought was also running through his head as well.  So maybe giving her what he bought her would be better done now on the off chance that she hated it.

“My goodness, Miss Carne, you are more impatient than a child.  If you’re that anxious, let be run upstairs and get it,” he said as he pulled his hand away from hers and moved to stand.

“Run?” she teased.

“Very funny.  Okay hobble quickly.  Better?”  There was a twinkle in his eye that made Demelza relax. 

“Just be careful.  I don’t want to have to carry you to this party tonight,” she said.

“Oh, don’t you worry.  I even intend on dancing with you if the opportunity arises,” he responded as he bent down to give her a peck on the cheek.

After he left the room, Demelza allowed herself to ponder what was happening between them and without over thinking realized she was glad with whatever it was.  Looking at the time she went to go make a bottle for Julia as Ross reappeared.  In his hand was a small box, wrapped with gold ribbon. Looking from his face to the package, Demelza suddenly felt shy.  Why would getting a present from someone throw her off? 

“Going somewhere?” he asked.

“I was just going to get a bottle for Julia and put her down for a nap.  Um, I’ll be right back,” she said quickly as she exited the room.

Ross let her pass and went into the living room again sitting on the sofa closest to Julia’s playpen.  He placed the box on the seat next to him and waited for Demelza’s return.  She came back almost immediately and lying Julia on her side gave the baby her bottle and covered her with a blanket. Satisfied that her daughter was settled, she sat down next to Ross and he handed her the present.

“Merry Christmas, Demelza,” he said.

Taking the gift from him she played with the ribbon before pulling at an end to untie it. It slipped off easily and as she lifted the top she saw shimmering tissue paper.  Taking a glance at Ross, who gave away nothing, she opened the paper and gasped.

Surprised at her reaction, Ross worried that maybe he made a mistake in his choice. 

“Don’t you like them?” His voice held concern that perhaps she hated a gift like this.

Looking up at him Demelza allayed his fears.

“No, I love them.  I’m just a little shocked.”  She reached into the box and pulled out the nude colored nylon stockings.  They were as light as to almost feeling nonexistent as she ran them through her fingers. “How did you find them?  No one has had nylons since the war started.”

Pleased that she didn’t hate them, Ross replied, “I have connections when I need them. Don’t worry about how I got them.  Just tell me if you think they’ll fit.”

Demelza held them up examining the stockings closer.  “I think so but I won’t know until I actually put them on.  It’s been so long I hope I remember how to do that.”

“I could always lend a hand if you need it,” he said. Demelza caught his tone and looking at his face, saw the smirk that crossed it.

“I think I can manage.  But thanks for the offer.  If I hit a snag, I’ll send up flare,” she gave back to him.

“Kill joy.”

“Thank you, Ross.  This is a perfect gift. And I can’t wait to try them with my dress.”  She leaned over and gave him a warm kiss and then sat back against the sofa.  “I think I’m actually looking forward to tonight.”

“Me too, Demelza, me too.”

He took her hand again as they sat in companionable silence listening to the crackling of the fire and the soft breathing of Julia.

****~~~~****

Ross was giving Jinny Martin a tour of the house and explaining the instructions Demelza wrote out about Julia’s care when she came down the stairs.  He caught sight of her as she reached the hallway and caught his breath.  She was a vision. The light blue crepe material of the dress clung to her curves perfectly, fell just below her knee and accentuated her tiny waist.  The color brought out the brightness of her eyes while her hair flowed in waves down her breasts and back.  It was pulled half up with wisps around her forehead giving her a soft, ethereal look. 

“You’re gorgeous, Demelza,” he said.  Not caring that Jinny was standing there; Ross pulled Demelza into his hold and kissed her solidly.  She responded without hesitation and wove her fingers through his hair which he’d neglected to slick down with Brylcream and she was glad.  His errant curls were irresistible and she took full advantage, just as Julia had learned to do.   Suddenly aware that there was someone else in the room, they pulled apart.

“You’re not so bad yourself Captain,” she said breathlessly.  Stepping away from each other, Ross made the introductions.

“Demelza, this is Jinny Martin.”  Demelza walked up to the young girl and shook her hand.

“Hi,  Jinny. Thank you for doing this.  Julia’s been fed and bathed so she shouldn’t give you any trouble. If she does, well, you know where to reach me,” Demelza said with touch a tinge of embarrassment.

“Yes, Miss Carne….” Jinny started to say.

“Please call me Demelza,” she replied with a smile. The younger girl relaxed and moved towards Julia who immediately reached up to her.  Looking at Demelza for approval, who gave a nod, Jinny picked up the little girl and introduced herself.  Seeing that things seemed to be under control, Demelza turned to Ross.

“I think we should make a break for it before Julia realizes what is going on,” she whispered.

“I think you’re right.”  He picked up the black wrap that was on a chair and placed it on Demelza’s shoulders.  He took her hand and led her out the door and hopefully to a great night.

****~~~~****

It was around eleven when Ross and Demelza made their way home, just a slight wobble to their walk.  The party was better than Demelza expected and she was glad she got to meet and mingle with her neighbors and now, new found friends. Ross also considered the night a success as he met a friend of Zacky’s, Richard Tonkin, who had a boat building business in Charlestown and who, to Ross’s surprised, offered him a job if and when he was ready.  He couldn’t believe his luck and wanted to share it with Demelza but not yet.  The question of where they stood was still up in the air and until that was clearly defined, he was not going to push himself on her or into her life.

They reached the house and saw that the tree was still lit and a glow was coming from the living room.  Opening the door as quietly as possible, Demelza dropped her purse and wrap on the hallway table and walked slowly into the room. She stopped just inside the door when she Julia fast asleep in the playpen and Jinny curled up on the sofa.  Walking over to the young girl, Demelza touched her shoulder and Jinny woke. 

“Demelza, sorry I must have fallen asleep,” Jinny said sleepily.  Sitting up, Jinny moved the blanket off her and stood. 

“It’s fine.  I take it everything went well?” Demelza said as she looked down at Julia.

“Oh yeah she was great.  Anytime you need someone to watch her, just call me. She and I have become great friends.”  Jinny grabbed her coat and started to walk out when Ross stopped her and handed her a few bills. 

“Thanks Captain,” Jinny said cheerily with a blush creeping into her cheeks.  Ross ignored the girl’s change in demeanor and led her to the door.  Once he saw that she was safely on her way down the road home, Ross came back into the house to join Demelza.

He found her at the breakfront pouring herself a glass of port.

“Can you pour one for me too?” he asked as he came up behind her.  She did so without comment and turned around to hand him the glass.

“Sure,” she said as their hands brushed in the passing of the drink. She leaned in and gave him a kiss as she walked passed him to the sofa.  Ross was left standing there amazed at her good mood and decided to take advantage and ask about the picture.

“Demelza?”

“Yes,” she said between sips.

“I found Michael’s picture in the breakfront.  Why did you put it away?”  Demelza put the glass down on the side table. She slipped her shoes off and curling her legs underneath her, crossed her arms in front as if she were cold.

“Oh.  Truth?” 

Ross stayed put and answered.

“Always.”

“I felt it was time. Time to put the past behind me, time to move on, time to let myself be happy again.”

She spoke plainly and from the heart, looking at him the whole time. Ross felt emotions swelling in his heart for this woman.  But he had to know why.

“Why now, Demelza?” 

“Because now I found someone to help me do all that.  Now, I found you.” And as she said that Demelza felt emotions she had tamped down for so long come to the surface. 

Ross couldn’t stay away from her any longer and forgetting his cane, crossed the room swiftly and joining Demelza on the couch, he kissed her. Demelza responded without hesitation her hands wrapping around him, holding on as if she were afraid he’d disappear.  Ross in the meantime showered her with kisses on her cheeks, eyes and back to her lips. 

“You are amazing, Demelza Carne,” he rasped as he continued his assault on her.

“You’re not so bad yourself,” she answered.  Ross stopped to look at her and smiled. 

“I just thought of something.  You haven’t given me my present yet.”

“What?  Telling you that I’m ready to move on and kissing you like that isn’t present enough?”

Ross grinned and answered, “I’m not complaining but I don’t think it’s fair that you got your present early and I’m still waiting. Come to think of it, did they fit?”   It was now Demelza’s turn to give him a wicked grin.  Scooting back on the sofa just a bit, she swung her legs down and slowly pulled the hem of her dress up, to reveal a perfectly stocking leg, with a hint of a black garter peeking out. Ross looked from Demelza to her leg.  Unable to resist he reached down and slid his hand up her leg stopping just short of the garter. Demelza watched as he touched her, biting her lower lip, that had now gone dry and feeling her breath come in short bursts.  She turned toward Ross again, and pulling him by the lapels of his jacket, captured his mouth with hers.

The kiss ended abruptly when she pulled back and stood up. Leaving Ross on the sofa practically panting, she walked to the tree and picked up the boxes for Ross.  She placed the one on the floor next to the sofa and handed him the thinner packets.

“I hope you like them,” she said softly. Taking a place next to him, she watched as he opened the gifts in his hands first and saw a couple of records.  He smiled at the first one. Ella Fitzgerald’s version of “A Tisket A Tasket”. The other was a newer record. Bing Crosby’s version of “I’ll be Seeing  You.”  Ross perused both of them and then putting them down said,

“Thank you Demelza. They’re wonderful.  And I suppose that the big package is a player,” he said more than a little amused.

“Yes smarty pants,” Demelza said. She bent down and picked up the record player and passed it to Ross.

Placing it on the table he ripped the paper and opened the lid of the old piece.  Ross stood and took it to the dining table and plugged it in the nearest outlet.  Walking back to the sofa he picked up one of the records and placed it on the turntable.  Turning it on he put the needle down on the spinning vinyl and as the music started, held out his hand to Demelza.

“Dance with me,” he said softly. “I owe you one.” Demelza looked at his outstretched hand and took it, easily stepping into his embrace.  The song started and Ross wrapped his hands around her tiny waist, his eyes never leaving hers. They started to sway to the tune and listening to the words, Demelza felt herself start to feel sad. Not for what was happening now but for what was coming. Ross was going to leave and who knew when she’d see him again. Her body involuntarily tensed and Ross felt it.

“Hey, what’s going on?” he asked.  Lifting her head to look at him, he could see tears gathering in her eyes.  In all the time he had been here he hadn’t see Demelza cry. 

“Nothing, Ross.  Just I’m listening to the words of this song and I’m thinking that you’ll be leaving soon to rejoin your unit and I won’t know when I’ll see you again.”

Ross wasted no time in correcting her assumption.  He loved this woman and her daughter and he was going to do whatever he could to spend the rest of his life with them.

“Well, I think you might have assumed wrong.”  He kept moving her in a small circle, his head next to hers, placing an occasional kiss to her hair.

“What do you mean?” She was confused and waited for an explanation.

“I’m not going back into service. They don’t think I’m fit for any duty so I’ve been permanently discharged.”

“Ross! Why didn’t you tell me?”  Demelza was hurt that he kept this a secret.

“I only found out yesterday and I was waiting for the right time to say anything.  I wasn’t sure how you felt about me or my staying here in Cornwall.”  His answer was sincere and he stopped moving when he realized the needle had reached the end of the disc.

“Oh Ross!” she cried.  “Again, I’m an idiot.  I should have told you how I felt as soon as I knew.  Of course I want you to stay.  If you want.”  She took his face in his hands and kissed him to make the point.

“I do want to stay. And as it turns out, I won’t have to live off you much longer. Richard Tonkin offered me a position in his boat business when I was ready.  I think I’ll take him up on his offer.”  Ross’s smile lighted up his whole face.

“Ross, that’s amazing.  I’m so happy for you.”  She kissed him again.  “So you can stay here and work.”

He thought about that for a moment and had to say what he was thinking.

“Demelza I would like nothing more than to stay here with you and Julia at Nampara. But aren’t you afraid of what people will say?”

Sliding her hands down to hold on to his arms she looked at him and said without hesitation, “No.”

She saw the look of shock on Ross’s face and thought she might as well lay her heart out on the table.

“I love you Ross.  And I don’t care what people think or say.”  At her words came out he tightened his grip on her and pulled her flush against his chest.

“I promise to make an honest woman of you as soon as I can,” he said.

“I’ll hold you to it.”  She was about to kiss him again when there was stirring from the playpen. Looking over they saw Julia struggling to sit up, a small whimper starting to build to a cry. Demelza strode over to her daughter so she picked her up and held her, brushing light kisses on her face.

“Didn’t want to miss Christmas do you princess?” she said lightly.  Ross looked at the clock and saw it was almost midnight.

“Since she’s up, why don’t we just wait and greet Christmas together.”  He came over to where Demelza stood with Julia and took them both in his arms. 

“I like that idea.  Merry Christmas, Ross,” she said. 

Looking at his new life he simply answered, “Merry Christmas, my loves.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was going to be the end but I thought they needed an epilogue......
> 
> Thank you all for reading and spending the holidays with the Poldarks.


	6. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And they all lived happily ever after....with a new addition to boot.

Ross and Demelza were married June 1944, a few weeks after D-Day.  It was a small ceremony with just themselves and their closest neighbors in attendance. Julia was flower girl because even though she was not totally steady on her feet, she insisted on carrying a bunch of posies like her mother.  Jinny had become her regular babysitter and friend and Demelza were grateful that she was part of their family.  With the war still going on there was no way they could take a honeymoon so the Martins offered to take Julia for a few days so that Ross and Demelza could have some alone time at Nampara.  They were beyond happy and Demelza thanked whoever was watching over her every day for bringing Ross into her life.

Christmas 1945 found The Poldarks getting ready for the holidays once again.  Julia was now almost three and in total control of the house and her new baby brother Jeremy who was born earlier that year.  Ross and Demelza were surprised but happy at the news that they were having a baby but considering how well they “got along”, it would have been a surprise if a baby didn’t come. 

As Ross put up the last of the lights, Demelza watched from the other side of the room, Jeremy in her arms as Julia stood next to Ross patiently waiting her turn to help.

“Daddy, when my turn?” she said in her tiny voice as she held an ornament in her tiny fist.

Ross looked down at his red headed daughter, her hair a mass of curls that fell in every direction. Seeing that she had a glass ball in her hand he crouched down to her level and gently took it from her.

“Soon, princess.  But why don’t you give me that one and you hold on to this pretty star?” he said. Julia’s face started to scrunch up as if she was going to start to cry until she saw the sparkly ornament. Mesmerized with the shimmering item, she plopped down on the floor where she was and sat fingering it. Ross looked across the room to his wife and gave her the thumbs up.  Demelza stifled a laugh and looked down at her dozing son who was the spitting image of her husband.  Jeremy had Ross’s dark hair but her light eyes and she was totally and completely in love with him. She never thought than in two short years she would be this happy.  Jeremy started to squirm so Demelza put him on her shoulder.  She felt rather than saw him drooling on her shirt and realized she didn’t have a burp rag with her. Turning to the breakfront she opened the drawer to get a cloth napkin and her hand stopped in mid air. She had forgotten about the picture.  Reaching down she pulled it out and held it, staring at the smiling face that faced her. 

“Demelza, can you come here and help me….” Ross was turning to her as he spoke and saw what she had.  Demelza looked up at him.

“I totally forgot about this,” she said quietly.

“It’s okay my love.  Think about it.  You keep wondering who is watching over us, who brought us together.  I think it was Michael.”  Ross spoke in a low tone so as not to catch Julia’s attention and walked around to where Demelza stood.

As he got near he saw a tear slip down her cheek and gathered her close.

“Don’t cry my love.  It’s alright, “he reassured her.

“Ross, you are too good to me.  Any other man would be jealous of his wife’s first love.”

“Any other man would be an idiot to not realize that his wife’s first love gave her something special and made her a warm, caring and loving woman. I’m grateful to Michael.”

Now the tears flowed and his mother’s crying upset Jeremy. Ross took his son from his wife’s grip and held him while he comforted her.

“Demelza I love you and all that comes with you.  That includes Michael.”

“I love you too. More than I ever thought I could love anyone.  Thank you. For accepting me with all my baggage.”

“Why wouldn’t I? You accept me with all my scars and imperfections.”

Demelza tilted her head as the tears subsided and looked at Ross.

“I didn’t say anything about imperfections, Poldark,” she teased.

“True.  You’re not perfect.  You are human and real and the only woman I will ever love.”

She leaned over and kissed him and then kissed Jeremy.

“I love you with everything I have Poldark.”   They stood looking at each other until Ross took the picture from her hand and replaced on the spinet. 

“I think it would be okay to leave this here for now, don’t you?”

“Yeah.  I think that would be fine.”  Demelza walked to Ross and linked her arms behind his head when a tiny voice was heard from the other side of the room. Julia had stood up holding the star over her head.

“Finish tree now, Daddy?”

Demelza and Ross looked at each other and then their children and realized that they did indeed have a perfect life. And a guardian angel to thank.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading!
> 
> Thanks to @alicebhatt for her Hallmark Christmas movie obsession that started this.

**Author's Note:**

> This will be multichapter but I do not intend to drag it out....we will have a happy ending as soon as possible.


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